Not My Own :: Enjoying The Little Things

"Enjoy them while they're young", she said.  I didn't take the time to inform her that he wasn't mine.

A few minutes later,

"Aww, he's cute."  "Thank you", I responded.  Again, not taking time to correct the well meaning passerby.  He is cute.  He takes after his babysitter.

"He" is Gunner.  The baby I take care of.  He'll be 4 months old next week.  It's been a rough week for Gunner and I.  Right now he's sitting by me playing and talking in his bouncer.  The first he's been happy all day.

Between teething, tummy trouble, snuffly noses, coughs, and not enough sleep, he's not been full of giggles and smiles all week long.

I can't say that I've been a role model babysitter either.  I get frustrated when something is wrong and I can't fix it.  Which happens a lot babysitting.  Right now I'm looking at the clock thinking: "In an hour he'll be gone, and it's the end of the week".  Thinking positive, that's the way.  In an hour he'll leave and I won't see him again until Monday.

I can already tell you, when I see him Monday I'll quickly get him out of his carseat and snuggle with him, proclaiming how much he's grown the last couple of days.  Four month olds grow too fast!

You see, I may not have birthed him.  He may have a mommy and a daddy that love him and take care of him, and I want them to be good parents to him.  But, between Monday and Friday, he's mine.  On good days, I'll think: "I get all the joys of having a child, without all the responsibilities."  On bad days, my thoughts change: "I have to deal with all this, and I don't even get the joy of being his mommy." wishy-washy charlie brown

I've grown to love this little boy that I care for, and I've learned a few things from being his care taker.

:: Choose Joy ::

Earlier today, I was scrolling through instagram and I saw a post from a mother whose little boy had gotten into her make-up.  Her hashtag amused me, and then got me thinking.  #choosejoychoosejoychoosejoy 

I may not be his mommy, but just like this mommy, day by day I have to choose joy.  When he starts screaming for apparently no reason, and the boys of the household complain about the noise, I have to choose joy.

:: I am the only one who will provide for a proper Biblical raising for this child ::

In my effort to choose joy, I need to remember that he see's Christ through me.  Now, maybe not yet.  This little four month old has no idea the difference between his babysitter family and his real family.  But as he gets older, and, hopefully, I continue to care for him, I pray that he will find Christ through me.

:: It won't get better ::

This doesn't sound very cheery, but it's a good reminder for me.  When things are going bad, I have a tendency to think "oh, if I could just get married", "oh, if this would happen" "Oh..."  that everything will be better.  Am I the only girl that thinks this way? 

False.

This is were God has me.  I'm so thankful.  Really, I am.  I may dream of a higher education, a better paying job, a family of my own.  But I don't want it right now.  Right now I want exactly what I have.  Exactly what God has given me.

Right now God's given me this precious little boy to watch.  To laugh with, to stress over.  To care for.

This little baby is my life.

He may not be mine, but I choose to enjoy him while he's little.

Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.