Monday, October 28, 2013

Simply.... Things

I tend to get myself in a fix. My brain gets all poetic on me. But, the problem is there is not very much poetry running through my blood stream. My form of art comes in music. The instrumental kind. Not putting down words.
I'd like to say that I've spent most of last week sitting by the computer mulling over a series of posts that I want to do. My fingers running over the keys, just waiting to write something. But that's not very realistic. In all truth, I would often stare at my phone trying to decide if I have all my thoughts in order enough to start these posts. Do I really want to share this or that? How far should I go? What can I use for resources? 
But, I pray that these posts will be an encouragement to others. They are more intended for young ladies like myself but I'm sure, with God's help, anyone can get something out of them. 
It all started a few weeks ago when I was asked to do a guest post. I thought about it for a little while and had an idea that I really liked. So I started compiling it in my head. Just a short post to be an encouragement. But, the next morning as I was reading my Bible, God seemed to put a whole different topic on my heart. It was way off from what I was thinking, and honestly, I was a mite dissapointed. But I knew that this new post would be used by God if I followed His leading. And I believe it was. And now I can expound and draw out my other idea more on my own blog. 
I want to share with you a series of posts entitled "Things I've Struggled With as a Christian Young Lady". Now, despite what the title states, most of them are things I still struggle with. Some of them, God has given me the victory over, and they're not a struggle anymore. Hopefully they will be a blessing to someone else.

The first topic I want to present is courtship and purity. Waiting for the right one. When I celebrated my 19th birthday last year I realized how single I was! I know lots of people will say that I'm so young to think that, and they are probably very right. But last year, due to quite a few circumstances in my life, I entered the "trying to be patient and wait, but it's oh so hard" stage. Maybe a little prematurely, but I'm there.  Some of it might be due to the fact of my surroundings. I'm the only single lady in my church. My two best friends are married to brothers. One has been married for six years and has two beautiful little girls and a little boy on the way. The other one has a little boy that is almost a year old and is just a darling. I'm sure if you've read my blog enough you know who I'm talking about! It seems like every other day I hear of a friend that is courting, engaged, getting married, or having a baby. And while I am extremely happy for ~most~ of them, it is a reminder that I'm still VERY single.  This little image is a perfect description of my life: 

Now, not only am I the only single lady in my church (which by the way, makes up the most part of my social life. And I'm very glad for I) but, there aren't very many single young men either. In fact, there are two. One of them is my brother. So not only am I VERY single, but I'm not in a situation where I have the opportunity to meet Price Charming easily. Now, I don't know, he could be lurking in my life right now, right under my nose. But at this point I am VERY single. 
And, please, don't think I'm trying to gain sympathy points! I've had opportunities to launch into a relationship. I've rejected one boy and there's another one that would jump if I gave him any leading(I'm not trying to brag here either, just stating facts). And that's not even including anyone from my year+ at college. 
Anyway, all that to say, "waiting for my Isaac" is on my mind rather frequently. 
I'd like to launch into a small section of waiting and purity that has become very real to me!  How many of us Christian girls are raised to believe in courtship and purity both physical and emotional? And I'm sure most of them have no problem with the physical part of purity, but how often is emotional purity compromised in young ladies' lives? I'm touching on this subject because it's something very real for me. 
I'd like to share a very true story with you about a young lady who compromised her emotional purity. Some of you know this girl, some of you, I'm sure, can figure out who I'm talking about, but if you don't, take my word for it. It's a real story about a real girl. 
This girl grew up in church all her life. She was raised to believe in courtship and all the other 'rules and regulations' of being a godly young lady. If you asked her if she believed all these things, she would, without hesitation, answer yes. She grew up in a 'perfect home' situation for most of her life until she entered her teen years.  Then her dad left the picture. 
She graduated high school and was getting ready to go to bible college. There were a few things at the college that she disagreed with, one of them being Christian dating. But, after talking to her mom and pastor she decided it would be alright. She just wouldn't get into dating/courtship in any way while at the school. That thought lasted just a few months. 
On her first birthday at the school, she and another girl were invited to get ice cream with two of the guys there. Before the night was over they realized it was a huge mistake. These guys were out to make a point and were just using the other girls. It wasn't all the guys faults though. The girl knew that she shouldn't have accepted in the very first place. Right then, a little bit of emotional purity was lost. But, it wasn't the first. Just a few short weeks before, a friend of this girl's came up to her and said to her: "I just heard that so-and-so wants to ask you out!" Now, in this situation the girl didn't want to 'go out' with the other guy. She just simply was not interested. But, throughout the situation there were many thoughts of "well, what if...?" Even though she never got involved in a relationship, she, through both her thoughts and through conversations with her friends, lost some emotional purity. 
Unfortunately, that wasn't the end.  That next spring one of her closest friends broke up with her 'boyfriend'. When that happened she became sort of a middle man between the two. She considered herself a 'hero'. But, it involved a lot of texting with the boy. Something she had never really done before. And, as is the usual case, it led to more. Before she knew it the talk started. They were going to be the next couple. He asked her about the rumors and they both agreed that it would NEVER happen. One month later, they were considered a 'couple'. One of the many problems with their relationship was that her mom did not approve. 
A few months later, their sins caught up with them. They both got in trouble with the school and her mom took her out of school. It took her quite a while to realize what she had done, but when she did God started giving her many victories in her life and she came out if it a whole different person. 

I'd like to use this story and make a few points. 
First of all... God has given you the authority in your life for a reason. If you simply follow their instructions and guidance you will be saved a lot of heartbreak. 
Also, you might be like this girl. You've been through a wrong relationship. You've given yourself away emotionally, if not physically. I want to do a whole different post on this but I will share this verse with you. 

Though your sins be as scarlet, they shall be as white as snow. Isaiah 1:18

Be careful that this is not the case for you. Just because a man comes along and says all the right things doesn't mean he's the one. 
This is so simple, but so true! You don't have the right to go around giving your love away. God has already reserved it for someone special! 
This is what I want in my relationship. Both for my future husband and myself! 
As single young people, we need to submerge ourselves into serving God and seeking Him that a special relationship comes as a surprise to us, not something we expect. 

I hope this post was of some encouragement. I know it was REALLY long, but I just spoke what was on my heart! There will be more following, some day, but probably not as long ;) 


  1. This was a very good post and such an encouragement to me! Thank you for sharing what God laid on your heart! I can't wait for more! ;)

  2. I can definitely relate to how you are feeling, Sarah. Not long ago I had the same struggle of not being around any single, Christian men. I would be lying if I said I finally reached that point of being 'perfectly content' with my singleness when Garrett came along! It's hard and not easy. Let me just encourage you, even though you feel like you're out in the middle of no where with no good man in sight, God has a plan. It's amazing to see how He works things out in His timing. Garrett and I have talked about if we had met each other sooner and it's clear now that it wouldn't have been the right time for either of us. We have both grown and changed so much if we met each other sooner we may not have liked each other! Thanks for being real with your struggles, I think as bloggers we can sometimes make our lives out to be all perfect. So, I appreciate it! As far as your strong desire to be married, I don't think that will ever go away, until you get married. It's a good and right desire, God-given!

    1. Maggie,
      Thanks for your comment! It was encouraging!
      I have enjoyed reading your and Garret's story very much, it's always encouraging to hear of another couple that has chosen to do it right!
      I often joke with my mom that my love story is going to be amazing because it's gonna take a miracle for me to meet Mr. Right, lol! But I believe that God is still in the miracle working business, and someday, maybe soon, maybe years from now, a miracle is going to walk into my life and I will totally understand all the waiting time :)
      Thanks again for your comment :)

  3. how true is this post! every last part of it!
    and gosh, I'm sure that everyone and their mother tells you that your knight in shining armour will come...but girl, it is so true!!!
    you are young and beautiful and you have your whole life ahead of is the time to just enjoy YOU because when you're married, you won't have all of you to yourself.
    he will come ;).
    I love your blog! and I sure as heck will follow! I can't wait to read more posts from you! you are such a good writer!

    much love,

    p.s. feel free to check out my blog, short sleeved pants, too if you want ;) I'll leave a link!

    short sleeved pants

    p.p.s. I encourage you to listen to this song: "hide your love away" by anthem lights! It is such a beautiful song and touches on so many of your points ;)

  4. I enjoyed reading about all your thoughts on singleness and everything! It's funny, for me... the "older" I get (I'll be 19 in a few weeks) the less I feel read for marriage or a relationship! I feel so unprepared...and like I'm still just a kid growing up, you know? For example, this week a few guys came for a visit from my home church. And I said, "I'm just not ready for a relationship right now! I'm still growing up!" So I think it's important for us to focus on this season in our lives as a time of preparedness and maturing, and becoming the right person for the guy God will bring into our lives in His time, if it is His will! (Even if there are no godly guys in sight that you know of!) Keep strong, sister!

    1. Sharon, thanks for your comment! When I get impatient waiting I just remind myself that if God thought I was ready He would work it out :)

  5. Thank you for your openess on waiting. The right one will come along. There was one single guy in my church (and he was not someone I would want to marry :P). Anyway, God flew a guy half way around the world to come work in my church... ahem.... he was godly, & handsome & musical! :D And now we've been courting for almost 3. 5 years trying to work things out for him to live in Germany and work in our ministry...and then we can marry!

    If God can send one from a different country, God can lead a guy to come to your church....and church is the best place to meet is it not!?


    1. Iris, thanks for that thought! I often think about how I don't "get out" much-- visiting other churches, etc-- but reading your comment reminded me that no matter where I'm at in life, as long as I'm where God wants me, he will bring the right person along! :)

  6. Wow...not sure if I want to throw up or laugh my head off at this post...

    1. Hi Debbie,
      I guess you can do whatever you like after reading it (although, for your sake, I hope it's not the first! :))
      I will say this, even though I have no desire to go back and repeat my experiences 1) I don't hold it against anyone, it was my fault as much as anyone else's... and more. 2) I have learned a lot throughout this past year at home. My mom, pastor, and pastor's wife had all set aside a big part of their lives to help me grow in my life spiritually. I'm far from reaching perfection, but now I can look back and see the person I once was as a young teenager, the person I was at college ( still a teenager :O, lol!) and the person I am striving to become now.
      I struggled a lot with worrying about what other people think about me, but now I'm working on caring more about what God knows about me. Dr Don Green often says: "As a Christian, I have learned to divorce myself from public opinion for the furtherance of my walk with God" I've realized that when I worry more about what other people think I become more self-absorbed. That was a big part of shaping the person I was at college. You can think badly of me, I honestly don't blame you, but I'll tell you this Debbie, I am not the same person I was the last time I saw you. I may not be where I want to be, but thank goodness I'm not where I once was!
      I have learned a lot these past years, and I shared this post because I realize that it is a struggle for some girls that want to totally wait for the 'right one'. All I want from this post and the others I'm working on now is for God to use my testimony (good, bad, and indifferent) to be a help to other ladies. And, I believe that through the comments I've received, He has.
      Debbie, I would do anything to change the testimony I gave off when I was at college, but I can't. Now I've learned from it and God has used it to help some of the younger girls at my church.
      Thanks for visiting my blog, I hope life is going well for you!


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